you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Life is so much better after having sex.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize