Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
