just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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