dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
