Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
