no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
