My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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