so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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