you turned your livingroom into a bong?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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