so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
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She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
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Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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