You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
