also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
