We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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