Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
