giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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