I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
