so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
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