I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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