cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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