yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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