I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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