It's like God shit irony all over that family
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
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He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
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just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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