I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I have post one night stand depression
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