i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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