I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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