going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
