Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
