i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Randomize
