He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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