Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
