I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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