3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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