I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
