Sacagawea was the original milf.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize