it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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