just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
