We named our party play list daddy issues
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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