I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
should my penis look like a turkey
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
