I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
