He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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