nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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