just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize