he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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