There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
