fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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