i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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