There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I can't put those talents on a resume
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
