Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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