I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
