She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Randomize
