I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
