I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
don't judge my taste in strippers
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
