Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
