it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Randomize
