I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
