sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize