the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
