Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
