I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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