yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
