Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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